Bowling into Light

Positive Psychology Intervention 3 - Writing a Gratitude Letter

“Doing a kindness produces the single most reliable momentary increase in well-being of any exercise we have tested.” - Martin Seligman

Experiencing feelings of Gratitude can be good for your physical health and your happiness. Saying thanks, or expressing gratitude, can strengthen relationships. Sometimes when we say thanks its really just a reflex and can be fleeting. This exercise encourages you to express your gratitude in the form of a letter. Ideally, think of someone that you have never really thanked properly, write them a letter of thanks and deliver it in person.

Try to think back to someone who did something for you for which you are very grateful. If you never got the chance to express your deep gratitude here is your chance.

You should write directly to the person, e.g. “Dear ….”.

Do not worry too much about grammar or spelling mistakes.

What is more important is to try to describe in detail why you are grateful to this person.

What was it about the persons behaviour that affected you? Try to be as specific as possible.

You should plan a visit to the person letting them know that you would like to talk but don’t go into specifics.

When you meet with the person, tell them that you are grateful and that you would like to read them a letter that you have written. This may seem to be easier said than done but it will be worth the effort!

Read them the letter, taking your time, and be aware of their feelings and of your own. You should be willing to discuss their feelings and your own after reading the letter. Remember to give them the letter afterwards. If it is not possible to deliver the letter in person then a phone call or virtual meeting will suffice.

When researchers tested this intervention amongst five different interventions it produced the greatest positive effect on participants happiness one month later. Researchers did find that six months later, happiness levels had returned to where they were before the intervention. This is an exercise that can be done more than once and can be a really useful part of an overall wellbeing plan for yourself.

Research showed that adolescents who normally don’t experience positive emotions showed a significant boost to their positive emotions two months after doing a gratitude visit.

There are benefits to just writing the letter but there are greater benefits from delivering it as well.

Ref: Seligman, M. E., Stein, T. A., Park, N., & Peterson, C. (2005) Positive psychology progress: empirical validation of interventions. American Psychologist, Am Psychol. 2005 Jul-Aug;60(5):410-21

Positive Psychology Intervention 2 - Affirming Important Values

“No matter what your current ability is, effort is what ignites that ability and turns it into accomplishment.” – Carol Dweck

This is a useful Resilience building exercise. This intervention is recommended as one of the first Resilience building techniques, as it can be a key part of establishing a healthy approach to life.

Researchers found that by writing about our most important values we can experience less stress, be less defensive and more open to information, and make healthier choices in these situations.

The following is a list of different values. The first task is to rank them in order of importance to you from 1 to 11.

·      Artistic Skills/aesthetic appreciation

·      Sense of humour

·      Relations with family/friends

·      Spontaneity/Living in the moment

·      Social skills

·      Athletics

·      Musical ability/appreciation

·      Physical attractiveness

·      Creativity

·      Business/managerial skills

·      Romantic values

The next step is to write a brief account of the value that is most important to you. Two or three paragraphs is enough to write. This is a good practise when you feel threatened or defensive. When our ego takes a hit we can move beyond our narrow self-image concerns by reflecting on what matters most.

By doing this exercise we give ourselves the chance to focus on what matters most to us regardless of the problems that we may be encountering in the short term. By helping ourselves take the bigger perspective we can avoid getting stuck in momentary of passing negative feelings.

Ref: Tang. D., & Schmeichel. B. J. (2015). Self-affirmation facilitates cardiovascular recovery following interpersonal evaluation. Biological Psychology, 2015 Jan;104:108-15

Positive Psychology Intervention 1 - Best Possible Self

“Positive emotions, such as love, joy, and gratitude, promote new and creative actions, ideas, and social bonds.”-Barbara Fredrickson

Positive Psychological Interventions (also known as Positive Psychology Interventions-PPIs) are theoretically-grounded and empirically-validated instructions, activities, and recommendations that are designed to enhance wellbeing

Moreover, PPIs focus on using positive emotions and strengths to achieve and/or boost wellbeing. Numerous research projects have shown that concentration on positive characters and strengths are linked to health benefits and the wellbeing of people in various domains of their lives.  For this year’s Bowling into Light supporters here are just three of the top 15 PPIs. Please do try them all; you’ll come to appreciate their benefits.

Best Possible Self is a very popular intervention and is particularly useful for developing a more optimistic outlook on life. There are a number of very good reasons to develop an optimistic outlook. Building optimism can motivate people to work towards getting what they want in life which a way to make it a reality. This exercise will get you to imagine your life going as well as it possibly could and then to write about it. By doing this exercise we can improve our happiness and also set up the conditions for sustained happiness.

First you have to consider all the relevant parts of your life, such as career, family, pastimes, friends, etc. What do you imagine all those different areas of your life look like in your best possible future?

For the next fifteen minutes after picturing your best self in the future, write about it.

•            Do not be tempted to start thinking about all the ways that this will be difficult.

•            Do not focus on the barriers. 

•            Focus on the future and be as specific as possible in describing that best possible future.

•            Be as creative and as imaginative as possible. It is recommended doing this once a day for two weeks to get the full benefit.

By focussing on your best possible future it can help you to understand the work that you need to put in and the possible rewards. It can increase your sense of control and agency.

Participants who completed this exercise daily for two weeks showed an increase in positivity after the exercise and those who kept it up continued to show an increase in positive mood one month later.

Ref: Sheldon, K. M., & Lyubomirsky, S. (2006). How to increase and sustain positive emotion: The effects of expressing gratitude and visualising best possible selves. Journal of Positive Psychology, The Journal of Positive Psychology, 1(2), 73–82

Relieve Stress & Anxiety with Simple Breathing Techniques

Stress Management

Music that gives us a dopamine hit!

Music that makes us feel happy

10,000 hours of practice - going beyond the average!

Resilience - do you have it!

“Do not judge me by my success, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again.” – Nelson Mandela

The Great Mistake

Resilience is probably one of the most abused concepts in our increasingly hectic modern lives. Most organisations and media sources over-use and over-simply the concept of resilience; all to our detriment, as we become increasingly confused about our own sources and levels of resilience.

It is so important that we all develop a full and proper understanding of this key component of our being; that which protects and supports our mental health, well-being and wellness. Contrary to the chaotic narrative that prevails, understanding resilience is actually simple and straight-forward.

Keep it Simple!

As Dr Maureen Gaffney identifies in her book ‘Your One Wild and Precious Life’ - moderate levels of hardship that are well manged enhance our skill and confidence in managing adversity and losses, now and in the future. Resilience has its own profile. It comprises:

•       an ability to manage uncertainty,

•       persistence and grit,

•       a positive view of the future,

•       a sense of purpose,

•       a sense of humour,

•       a broadly spiritual perspective on life.

Most of us can manage some combination of those coping skills, and a sizeable minority of us excel in all. But what most clearly distinguishes high and low levels of resilience is having a more philosophical, spiritual perspective – the ability to see ourselves and our life as part of a wider cycle.

The Importance of Positive Emotions

Dr Maureen Gaffney recognises that resilience, the ability to adapt to stress and change, to recover from setbacks and stay positive in the face of accumulating risk, is central to aging well. In ordinary circumstances, positive and negative emotions are relatively independent.

Even when we are disappointed or frustrated, we can simultaneously feel hopeful, interested and relatively contented with our life.

BUT as pressure mounts, negativity increases and drives down our positive feelings.

That is why experiencing a positive emotion, however briefly, provides time out and a respite from the pressure. It lowers our blood pressure and bolsters our immune system and coping abilities, restoring vital psychological resources depleted by stress.

It means we can think and act more flexibly and come up with better solutions to whatever problems we face.

If we are able to summon up an image or memory that lifts your spirits or bolsters our courage, we can regain your steady state of safety and calm.

“It is really wonderful how much resilience there is in human nature. Let any obstructing cause, no matter what, be removed in any way, even by death, and we fly back to first principles of hope and enjoyment.”- Bram Stoker (Dracula)

"The best revenge is to live on and prove yourself." - Eddie Vedder

In memory of Chris Cornell (20th July 1964 - 18th May 2017)

In memory of Chester Bennington (20th March 1976 – 20th July 2017)

Thinking Traps...and how to avoid them!

“We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.” – Albert Einstein

One of the most common challenges we all face on a daily basis are Thinking Traps. Thinking Traps are not helpful and, if unchallenged, can undermine our well-being and erode our resilience. In this post there are examples of five of the most common Thinking Traps. They are:

(1)All-Or-Nothing Thinking

(2) Catastrophising

(3) Emotional Reasoning

(4) Mind Reading

(5) Overgeneralisation

ALL-OR-NOTHING THINKING

This thinking style is often termed as black and white or dichotomous thinking and is one of the most common thinking traps.

All-or-nothing thinking involves thinking in extremes. The presentation was either a total success or a complete failure.

You are either great at your job or you are “horrible.”

Example: “I only have 30 minutes for cricket practice this week, so I just won’t train at all since I don’t have my usual time.”

SOLUTION - The antidote to this thinking trap is looking for the shades of grey or being more flexible in your interpretation of situations.

CATASTROPHISING

This thinking trap involves focusing on the worst possible outcome of a situation, and not on the most likely or probable outcome.

Example: “I haven’t received a notification on WhatsApp – I’ve been dropped from the team!”

SOLUTION - What’s the solution for catastrophising? DE-catastrophising! Once you’ve assessed the worst-case scenario, ask yourself what the realistic odds are that your worst fear will come true. Then, take a look at other possible outcomes, and consider how you would cope even if the worst happened. We tend to underestimate our ability to handle even the most challenging of situations!

EMOTIONAL REASONING

This thinking error involves seeing our feelings or emotions as evidence for the “truth,” regardless of the objective evidence. But just because you feel useless/like an imposter/stupid at times, does not mean that you really are those things.

Example: “I felt really anxious on the journey here today, so I think something bad is about to happen.”

SOLUTION - So how do we break free of emotional reasoning? We must always remember that feelings are not facts and tap into our logical reasoning skills by examining the objective evidence for and against our automatic negative thoughts.

MIND READING

Ever jumped to the conclusion that someone just doesn’t like you? Mind reading is assuming that someone is thinking something negative about you without having any definitive evidence, which often leads to a self-fulfilling prophecy when the other person picks up on your odd behaviour (after all, you have been acting like they didn’t like you!).

Example: “The Captain hasn’t responded to my second email requesting information. He must think I am so annoying! I am probably his least favourite player.”

SOLUTION - What can we do once we recognize this thinking trap? Realize that no one can read minds and we can never really know what others are thinking unless they tell us.

OVERGENERALISATION

When we encounter difficult situations, we can fall victim to overgeneralizing when we assume that it’s going to happen again every time, or that a single negative event is actually part of a series of unending negative events.

Example: “That performance was terrible! I am a useless player  who will never improve”.

SOLUTION - If you find yourself thinking “Why does this always happen to me?” or “How typical – I’m just an unlucky person,” you may be caught up in the thinking trap of overgeneralization. We can overcome this error by catching ourselves using terms like “always,” “never,” “everybody,” and “nobody” and purposefully looking for any exceptions to the statement.

The most important step in responding positively to Thinking Traps is to have the self-awareness and honesty to recognise that we are experiencing a Thinking Trap. Once we realise that this illogical, harmful thinking is affecting us then need to apply the most appropriate solution.

For more information please read: Five common thinking traps and what to think instead - Physical Medicine and Rehabilitation

“It’s crazy how you can get yourself in a mess sometimes and not even be able to think about it with any sense and yet not be able to think about anything else.” – Stanley Kubrick

Simple Gestures

Ernest Hemingway once said: In our darkest moments, we don’t need solutions or advice. What we yearn for is simply human connection—a quiet presence, a gentle touch. These small gestures are the anchors that hold us steady when life feels like too much.

Please don’t try to fix me. Don’t take on my pain or push away my shadows. Just sit beside me as I work through my own inner storms. Be the steady hand I can reach for as I find my way.

My pain is mine to carry, my battles mine to face. But your presence reminds me I’m not alone in this vast, sometimes frightening world. It’s a quiet reminder that I am worthy of love, even when I feel broken.

So, in those dark hours when I lose my way, will you just be here? Not as a rescuer, but as a companion. Hold my hand until the dawn arrives, helping me remember my strength.

Your silent support is the most precious gift you can give. It’s a love that helps me remember who I am, even when I forget.

What's Really Going On?

‘When you bowl at him you are not just trying to get him out, you are trying to impress him. "I want him to walk off thinking 'that Flintoff, he's all right isn't he?" I feel privileged to have played against him.’ – Andrew Flintoff

Different Perspectives

For Generation Z (‘Zoomers’, born between 1997 and 2012) Andrew ‘Freddie’ Flintoff is probably most admired for his spirit of adventure and sense of humour on the BBC series ‘Top Gear’. Older generations (Generation X and Millennials) will also respect Freddie for his contribution to the game of cricket with Lancashire (1995 – 2009, 2014), Chennai Super Kings (2009) and Brisbane Heat (2014/15), as well as most notably with England, as a record-breaking player and Captain/Vice-Captain.

The Highs and Lows

All of us owe a debt of gratitude for his honesty and being so forthright in his sharing of his mental health struggles, particularly since his near fatal ‘Top Gear’ crash in 2022. Ten years earlier Freddie was candid about his struggles with depression in the BBC documentary ‘The Hidden Side of Sport’ (watch the short 4 minute video available at: Cricketer Andrew Flintoff speaks out about depression - BBC News). The 2017 GQ magazine article offers a further useful insight into the challenges he has faced (read: Andrew Flintoff on The Ashes, battling depression and being the next James Bond | British GQ | British GQ). Most recently he has revealed his anxiety following the near-fatal crash (read I couldn’t get out of the room – Andrew Flintoff on his anxiety after accident | The National).

Anxiety Versus Depression

The ability of an individual, who we automatically perceive as being highly accomplished and extremely resilient, to have the courage to talk about his struggles, affords us an opportunity to develop a more informed understanding of depression and anxiety. Unfortunately, the prevailing narrative is that depression is worrying about the past and anxiety is worrying about the future. There is an element of truth to this but we owe it to ourselves and others to become familiar with mental health issues which may affect us or those we care about. This 5 minute read is an article which provides a  comprehensive guide to both depression and anxiety (Anxiety vs. depression: Symptoms, treatment, and more).

Minding Ourselves and Others

Cognisant of the wisdom that prevention is better than cure, it is important for all us, particularly those fortunate enough to have the support of a sports club, that we are mindful of our own mental health and that of our fellow club members. It is essential that there is a philosophy (or even a policy!) of psychological safety (please check out: Psychological Safety – Amy C. Edmondson). Just as active listening is critical to psychological safety, we also need to be more  mindful of active constructive responding (watch this 4 minute video: Active Constructive Responding - YouTube). These are just two of many simple steps in becoming more mindful of ourselves and those around us. The toughest part may be initiating that conversation with ourselves, and definitely with others. Perhaps a useful starting point is considering the courage and the honesty of other great people, such as Andrew ‘Freddie’ Flintoff.

“There have always been two people jostling for control of my life, two totally opposite characters. The first one is super-confident, bulletproof, a showman, and an extrovert. He tries to make people laugh, messes about, gets into trouble, shrugs it off. The other character is withdrawn and reflective.”-Andrew Flintoff

Wednesday 30th April 2025 - National Workplace Wellbeing Day

Wednesday 30th April is National Workplace Well-being Day. For more information - check out National Workplace Wellbeing Day - IBEC

What is NOT Well-being!

As you consider National Workplace Wellbeing Day you may be considering a Wellbeing initiative. The most important first step is acknowledging and appreciating that well-being is not the same as wellness, and is not to be confused with similarly worthwhile mental health initiatives. While well-being can contribute to aspects of our resilience, it should not be assumed that workplace well-being initiatives will improve our resilience to do even more with less (definitely not!).

What is Well-being?

In his book ‘Flourish –A New Understanding of Happiness and Well-being –and How To Achieve Them’ (2011) Doctor Martin Seligman identifies that well-being is a construct: and well-being and not happiness, is the topic of positive psychology. Well-being has five measurable elements (PERMA) that count toward it:

•Positive Emotion (of which happiness and life satisfaction are all aspects)

•Engagement

•Relationships

•Meaning

•Achievement

No one element defines well-being, but each contributes to it. Some aspects of these five elements are measured subjectively by self-report, but other aspects are measured objectively.

For more about PERMA, check out - PERMA™ Theory of Well-Being and PERMA™ Workshops | Positive Psychology Center

What is a simple well-being initiative for National Workplace Wellbeing Day 2025?

There are many positive psychology interventions but, considering the wonderful weather forecast for Wednesday 30^th April, then every workplace should be making time for Noticing Nature. For different, effective ideas, the please check out - Mindfully Connecting With Nature | Psychology Today. Thank you!

Happy Workplace Well-being Day; carpe diem!

“An open mind leaves a chance for someone to drop a worthwhile thought in it.” – Mark Twain

Flintoff - streaming on Disney from Friday 25th April

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