Caoimhe McGuinness

Walking in Remembrance of my Dad

Every year, as the darkness begins to lift and the early morning light stretches across the sky, I find myself thinking of my dad, Kieran McGuinness.

The 5th of May 2009 is a date that will always be etched into my life. It’s the day we lost him to suicide , a day that changed everything, in ways both visible and invisible. Time has passed, but grief doesn’t follow a straight line. It moves with you, quietly reshaping itself as the years go by.

Darkness Into Light is more than just a walk. It’s a moment. A pause. A collective breath shared by thousands of people who carry stories like mine  stories of love, loss, confusion, and resilience.

When I walk, I don’t just walk for awareness. I walk for my dad.

I walk for the memories that still feel close enough to touch , his voice, his laughter, the small everyday moments that now feel so significant. I walk for the things left unsaid, and for the questions that may never have answers.

But most of all, I walk for the light.

Because even in the darkest moments, there is something powerful about coming together. About acknowledging pain instead of hiding it. About saying out loud that mental health matters, that people matter, that no one should feel alone in their struggles.

Losing someone to suicide brings a kind of grief that is complex and heavy. It carries sadness, but also confusion, guilt, and sometimes silence. Events like Darkness Into Light help break that silence. They remind us that it’s okay to talk, to remember, to feel and to support one another.

My dad was more than the way we lost him. He was a person who lived, who loved, who mattered deeply. And this walk is a way of honouring that , of keeping his memory alive not just in sorrow, but in purpose.

So as the sun rises, I’ll be thinking of him.

I’ll be thinking of all the families who carry similar stories.

In loving memory of my dad,

Kieran McGuinness